Sonali Vij- Dowry: When a Marriage becomes a Business Transaction

We all often talk about being modern, wearing branded clothes, shopping in swanky malls, eating in expensive restaurants etc. but then why is it that we are not able to bring about a change in the way we think as well, why is modernity restricted to only materialistic things? In today’s time of Urbanization, Modernization, Globalization etc. certain social evils like dowry still exist in our society. Well, what started as the girl taking a part of her share in the family property after marriage voluntarily has now become an obligation and compulsion of sorts. Over the period of time dowry has become a widespread evil and it has now assumed menacing proportions but initially dowry was never really a menace and the idea behind it was also not bad.

Marriage is an auspicious ceremony where two individuals are all set to spend the rest of their lives together but it is sometimes considered to be a profitable business deal by the groom and his family. They expect this deal to yield them just about everything from gold, clothes, cars to large sums of cash. They also consider it to be “the opportunity” to extract whatever they can from the bride’s family so that they can ensure a comfortable and luxurious life for themselves. The worst part being that the transaction of dowry often does not end with the actual wedding ceremony as the bride’s family is expected to continue giving gifts. What the groom’s family doesn’t realize is the fact that sometimes by fulfilling all their demands leaves the bride’s family becomes indebted for life. I am not saying that we should totally do away with our traditions, customs and practices but when these practices become a curse we need to do away with them.

Today, the custom of dowry has become a curse in the Indian society. The middle class families are considered to be the worst sufferers of this menace. The brides often face the brunt if their families are unable to fulfill the demands kept forth by her in-laws. Most dowry deaths occur when the young woman, unable to bear the harassment and torture, commits suicide. Sometimes the woman is even killed by setting her on fire. There have also been cases where the brides have been poisoned, recently there was a dowry death reported where a bride of 20 days was killed. In 1995, the National Crime Bureau of the Government of India reported about 6,000 dowry deaths every year. A more recent police report stated that dowry deaths had risen by 170 percent in the decade to 1997. Dowry is not prevalent only in rural areas but in urban areas as well. In Delhi, a woman is burned to death almost every twelve hours. Uttar Pradesh and Bihar are the two states where dowry deaths are most common. Every now and then we hear and read about dowry deaths but nothing much is being done in this regard. Most of the cases are not even reported. With a view to eradicate dowry from the Indian society, several laws have been passed but they haven’t been of much help. Someone really needs to take a stand and say that it’s wrong and it must not be practiced or at least they shouldn’t demand or accept it themselves. I must also mention here that few families do consider it as an evil and do not encourage it.

I strongly believe that it should be the wish of the daughter that should matter, whether she wishes to take something from her parents or not. The groom’s side must stay out of it, there should be no obligation or force involved. One of the major reasons for a girl to be still considered a liability and not an asset is because of this social evil and also in several cases it’s because of the fear of inability to give dowry that a male child is still favored over a female child.

Cultural practices such as dowry tend to subordinate women in Indian society and such practices should not be encouraged.

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The author is a IIyr Journalism Honours student and a Core Team Member of DevelopmentChannel.org