Dowry is one of those social practices which no educated Indian would own up with pride, although many of us still adhere to this much deplorable practice. It is so deeply rooted in Indian culture, that sometimes one feels that there's going to be no way out - at least not for another century.
Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition?
When demands for dowry are not met, the bride is subject to torture, and often even killed. Dowry deaths of a newly married bride are still regularly in the news. The reason many parents don't want to have daughters is because of the dowry they will have to shell out at her marriage, and the stress they go through due to never ending demands from her in-laws.
Dowry is an evil, evil system and all of us, at some level, condone it and even contribute to it.Often the boy’s parents don't demand dowry, but our culture is such that we feel we must give something to the in-laws. In such cases, give as much as you receive. When you go out of your way because you are the parents of the girl, you are contributing to this evil. A number of marriage-negotiations break down if there is no consensus between the bride's and groom's families.
That dowry is given as compensation to the groom's parents for the amount they have spent in educating and upbringing their son. These explanations may seem logical in the present day context, but they cannot explain how this practice originated.Instead of giving her dowry so everyone is nice to her at her new home, give her a great career, so they can't help but respect her. So if they treat her badly, she can walk out, as she is not dependent on them.
So they need her monthly contribution to the household expenses and dare not mess with her.Providing your daughter with a solid education, and encouraging her to pursue a career of her choice is the best dowry any parent can ever give their daughter.
Even modern, well-educated families start saving up money for their daughter's dowry as soon as she is born so what can one expect from the uneducated masses, whose only form of education is tradition?
When demands for dowry are not met, the bride is subject to torture, and often even killed. Dowry deaths of a newly married bride are still regularly in the news. The reason many parents don't want to have daughters is because of the dowry they will have to shell out at her marriage, and the stress they go through due to never ending demands from her in-laws.
Dowry is an evil, evil system and all of us, at some level, condone it and even contribute to it.Often the boy’s parents don't demand dowry, but our culture is such that we feel we must give something to the in-laws. In such cases, give as much as you receive. When you go out of your way because you are the parents of the girl, you are contributing to this evil. A number of marriage-negotiations break down if there is no consensus between the bride's and groom's families.
That dowry is given as compensation to the groom's parents for the amount they have spent in educating and upbringing their son. These explanations may seem logical in the present day context, but they cannot explain how this practice originated.Instead of giving her dowry so everyone is nice to her at her new home, give her a great career, so they can't help but respect her. So if they treat her badly, she can walk out, as she is not dependent on them.
So they need her monthly contribution to the household expenses and dare not mess with her.Providing your daughter with a solid education, and encouraging her to pursue a career of her choice is the best dowry any parent can ever give their daughter.
The Author is a I yr BA Programme student
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